The first thing that we need to emphasize is that God highly esteems marriage and even though He permits divorce and remarriage under certain circumstances His word carefully guards against any frivolous reason for ending a marriage, including ending a marriage with the possibility of remarriage.

This is why, in Matthew 19:3 the Pharisees came to Jesus with a hidden agenda and asked Him “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

This question can be traced back to Deuteronomy 24:1.  In Jesus’ day the readers were interpreting this “uncleanness” (Heb. ervah-sexual shame) as anything from their wives raising their voices to burning dinner.  So Jesus was quick and clear with His response.  He said in Matt.19:9 “And I say to you, whosoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality”.  That was Jesus’ commentary on ‘ervah’ back in Deut.21.

So it is clear that DISLOYALTY is a biblically recognized reason for divorce and remarriage.  (According to Matt. 19;9 a person would not be committing adultery if they remarried. Mark 10 also talks about this including the woman’s perspective.)

Romans 7 and 1Corinthians 7 both talk about DEATH as a situation that ends the “bond” of marriage (“released from the law of her husband”) from God’s perspective (1Cor 7:39).

1 Corinthians 7:15 says “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart, a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases.”  So that answers the question of DESERTION.

Now how about DANGER?  Would God comment at all about the marriage status of a woman who was being beaten everyday by her husband?  Would he care about the knocked out teeth, scull fractures, acid burns, slashed faces, children in the home placed in peril because of this husbands “friends” who may be abusing them on routine bases?  This is the reality for some women in America and certainly globally, where often laws protecting woman are much less vague or strictly enforced.

So where would God talk about that?  Is there a chapter, a verse?  Ever notice how Paul in 1 Cor 7 while talking about marriage repeatedly says, “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord.” Or, “But to the rest I, not the Lord, say”.  Or “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord.”  The reason why Paul says this is because marriage is such a complicated issue.  It is really impossible to list all of the individual and specific scenarios and problems.  That is the purpose of 1 Corinthians 7:10-11.  It is obviously a more general instruction, and might be considered something like a “protection of woman clause”.  And its requirements are tough.

Verse 10 “A wife is not to depart from her husband.”  Verse 11 “But even if she does depart.”  Now the next thing you would expect to read would be something like. “but even if she does depart, she has done wrong!”  But it doesn’t say that, the passage says, “But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried.”  So for whatever reason this “departing” represents, while the built in consequences are tough (remain unmarried), there is no condemnation for this action by the woman.  The only other thing that Paul says is, “or be reconciled to her husband”.  This is the protection clause for any woman in a marriage relationship.  If there is a situation that is serious and legitimate where she determines that she must “depart” (like the DANGEROUS situations I mentioned above) she can end the marriage, but she cannot just find someone else.  There is provision built in for some hope for the relationship (some reconciliation), if conditions improve, at lease as long as the man remains alive.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

The answer to this question lies in a proper understanding of 2 things:

1. God’s desire for reconciliation with mankind
2. Our health throughout our relationship with Christ as Lord and Savior

Because of our sin, we are positionally disconnected from God before we place our trust in Christ. Once we have made a commitment to God, through repentance and faith, we enter into a righteous standing with God because of Jesus’ work on our behalf. This means that we cannot be made positionally unrighteous again because we have accepted Christ’s sacrifice as sufficient.

After we have made this commitment though, John talks about the importance of still confessing our sins to God (remember Christ modeled this as well in Matthew 6:9-13). John says If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. This is teaching us two things about the importance of confession of sin as a Christian:

1. The first is that it speaks to us as a reminder that we are still sinful and in need of God’s grace and forgiveness.
2. The second thing it does is help maintain a level of health in our relationship with God. The relationship exists already because of our acceptance of Christ’s work on the cross, but the relationship keeps a level of healthiness through a continuous process of confession of our sins and a continuous forgiveness from Jesus.

Think of it this way: I have entered in a marriage covenant with my wife where we have agreed to love one another through sickness, health, poverty and wealth. Those vows mean that my wife and I are in a relationship where we have committed to sticking it out no matter what happens (similar to the commitment that God makes to us). Now, if I sin against my wife in some way, shape or form, she and I are still committed to one another through our marriage vows, BUT it is still wise to confess my sin to her and ask for her forgiveness so that we can maintain healthy trust and communication with one another. In the same way, when we sin against God, we cannot destroy the covenant, but confession does assist in the healthy communication of our relationship with God.

Grace and Peace!

Of second importance no where in Scripture do we see any Apostolic authority establishing that the provocation of any of the above movements of the Holy Spirit would cease after an established period of time (although we know that they will not last forever, 1 Corinthians 13:8) or be isolated to any particular geographic location (Jerusalem, Ephesus, Corinth, etc.) this biblical fact does not lend itself to support a secession of the gifts (including and not limited to speaking in tongues) at the conclusion of the Apostolic age nor does a simple absence of biblical proof against their continuation prove that these gifts are still being expressed through the faithful today.

The Bottom line is that we should never read the Scripture based on any preconceived notions lest we impose on the text and therefore dishonor it. What is of true importance when trying to understand the gift of speaking in tongues or any Spiritual gift is that every gift is dispensed by God’s grace (1 Corinthians 12:27-31) and not by man’s will (Hebrews 2:4), that they are dispensed by God for the personal and communal edification of believers, and that any gift bestowed upon a believer needs to be handled with propriety and practiced biblically under the instruction of the Scriptures.

For a detailed understanding of the use and practice of speaking in tongues please read 1 Corinthians 14:5-29.

This question is one of both deep philosophical and theological investigation, and it’s one that’s surfaced countless times over the history of those two disciplines.  We’ll hardly pretend to have the lynchpin answer for this ongoing conversation, and with that in mind, let’s begin by making several observations about God’s initial act of creation here at the outset. 

First, when Satan was created, he was not created as “an evil spirit.”  1 John 3:4 tells us that “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.”  Everything that God created, including the host of angels of whom Satan was a member, were created without sin.  The Bible is clear that God is incapable of producing evil.

 Second, just as God is a being with personal volition, angels (and Satan) were created with a freedom of choice.  In Isaiah 14:12, Satan is said to have spoken the words: ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God, and I will sit on the mount of assembly in the recesses of the north.  ‘I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’[1]  Satan made the unmitigated decision to oppose God by use of his freedom, distorting a gift which God meant for holy purposes, into something that would cause colossal damage to himself, and eventually humanity.

 Third, it’s certain that God knew how the events proceeding the fall of man would come about.  Isaiah 40:28 tells us that “The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.”  God’s understanding exceeds the limits of human comprehension.  He was not surprised by Satan’s rebellion, or his instigation of humanity to rebel.

 In the end, no matter how well the question is clarified, we will ultimately end with the question of, “why did God create things in the way that He did?”  It’s here that we begin to tread some heavily philosophical terrain; because if God is omnipotent and wholly good, then the world as He initially created it was the best possible world which could have been created. 

 When Jesus tells us that “True worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him,” [2] this is because God is not coercing us to worship Him.  To force us to love Him would make God anything but good or loving; He would then be a tyrant unworthy of worship.  It is the highest definition of love that two freely acting persons should give themselves to one another, and this is what God made possible by creating the world in the manner He did.  For us to wish for a world with no evil, is to wish for a world of not more abundant love, but less.

 No one hates or suffers from evil more than God Himself.  Yet he was willing to endure it all (even to the culmination of all evil in His Son’s murder), so that He might seek and find those who would love Him without coercion, and eventually give them the object of all their desire when they love Him freely, and spend their eternities with Him in His coming glory.

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[1] This passage has historically been cited as a double reference to both Satan and the King of Babylon who states the same about his own earthly kingdom, though not all scholars agree with this application.

[2] John 4:23

Spiritual gifts are for the edification of the church (1 cor 14:12). So any spiritual gift that is given is for the external manifestation of ministry to build the kingdom of God. We are all given spiritual gifts and we should not covet others’ but pray to ask God to reveal our own so that we may serve our part in God’s design.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. “

Gifts are given so that we may complete the work that God has given us. This is why we should not covet others’ gifts, because each part has its own function and eternal end.

Speaking in tongues is a sign for unbelievers not believers (1 cor 14:22). The use of tongues biblically is always applied for the spirit to remove the language barrier between people so that those who do not speak the language may hear and understand the gospel. The perfect example of this is in Acts 2 at Pentecost. Many of the believers were in the upper room and they all started to speak in tongues, the direct effect of them speaking in tongues was that Jews from “every nation under heaven” heard the gospel in their native tongue/language.

Paul gives the tongues rule book in 1 Corinthians 14. First, tongues must be interpreted if it is in a church setting so the edification can come. Paul says in vs. 16, how can i say Amen, if i don’t know what was said. Also if an unbeliever walks into a service and hears the tongues without interpretation he would think everyone is crazy(vs.23). Tongues are not a spiritual aptitude to know that we are believers, we are all given spiritual gifts and it is in the manifestation of the fruits of the Spirit that we know believers, not in a specific gift.

Human beings are engineered, within this life, with the way we are made at this time, to be able to sin.  Romans 5:12 “Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world…”  God created people with the capacity to choose, part of the being “made in the image and likeness of God”.  Most people are very positive about possessing this ability to choose, even if it can get us into trouble.  Which it has.  But the ability to choose is the preferred design for humanity, not a pre-programed ability to always make the correct choice (like a machine, a robot).  So even though Adam and Eve were perfect, they possessed the ability to disobey and become imperfect, because of their humanness.

The biblical solution seems to be, obtain a regenerated spirit (Ephesians 2:1, theologians view our human spirits as the part of us being made alive), achieve a transformed mind (Romans 12:2), and then one day, become privileged with a newly designed body, a resurrected body (1Co 15:42 “So also is the resurrection of the dead.  The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption.”)  Having a resurrected body, seems to be the final step in the path to perfection (1Co 15:53).  Practical perfection, not positional perfection which we receive at the moment of salvation (Colossians 2:10 “and you are complete in Him…”  ‘complete’  pleroo  full, complete, perfect)

God is Spirit and does not have a mortal human body like ours (John 4:24), and therefore has never possessed the capacity to sin. When He did become incarnate through Jesus, as Jesus, (1Tim 3:16  “God was manifested in the flesh” NKJV ), Deity dominated and the incarnate God could not and did not sin (Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin’.).

First of all this is a delicate situation and one that requires sensitivity, compassion, and care. No one in their right mind would think that the situation at hand necessitates hanging around. Even if I didn’t know anything about God’s Word, and what it says about specific grounds for divorce, I would still tend to lean towards the side of caution here and tell you that this predicament is one that you or anyone else would want not to continue lingering in.

Biblical Grounds For Divorce

The great news is that the Bible is very clear and direct in stating what the grounds for divorce are. To help you easily remember them, they all start with the letter d. They are death (Romans 7:2-3); disloyalty (Matthew 19:3,9); and desertion (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). In all of these instances as seen in the above passages as well, the Bible supports and sanctions a remarriage.

But there seems to be a fourth reason that the Bible includes as grounds for a divorce. If we read again in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we see from verses 10 and 11 this presented: “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord:” (Meaning this was actually the instruction of Jesus while incarnate on earth)  “A wife is not to depart (the Greek word here is the word for divorce) from her husband”. That’s it…that was the teaching and the standard of Jesus. No divorce, sorry wives, no divorce.

What About Danger In The Marriage?

So the question enters, what if he is not unfaithful, and he hasn’t physically abandoned the marriage/family, but he is beating her up daily, or bringing drug dealers home, or pedophiles who are endangering the kids, or he is robbing banks etc…? The point is that there is a serious threat or danger within the marriage. “But even if she does depart (again, the same word: divorce).” What this is saying is that there will be instances for a woman divorcing a husband for a reasonable cause (danger). This is what Jesus is inferring. But there’s a qualifier: “Let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband”

She can divorce because of danger but has to remain unmarried. If he gets his act together, there may be hope for the marriage in the future.  So the wife can get out of the way of danger, but has to remain unmarried.  This qualifier keeps a wife from tossing her husband for a lesser reason (irritations).  Because if she did walk away for a lesser reason, she would not have true Biblical grounds for divorcing her husband.

So, the final analysis is that Jesus leaves room for a wife being able to terminate a marriage if she is any sort of perceived danger.

The New Testament writers possessed a variety of words for love in the Koine Greek language of their period.

For example they had the availability of using storge, a word which represents family love or the love between subjects and their king.  Philia is another word representing love, which was evident within a reciprocal relationship.  Eros was not only a deity in Greek culture, but a word for love, avoided by bible writers.  But word that they choose, agape/agapo/agapao, seemed to be a little less used.  Maybe a little less defined.  So the believers in the first century, began to give this word, through the Holy Spirit, a greater, more advanced, and elevated meeting.

E.g. Romans 5.5 tells us that this love is “poured out” not rationed by God or by His followers.  Romans 8:35 emphasizes, “who shall separate us from the love of Christ”, and then the passage goes on to name a considerable list of things that are unable to separate us from the love of God.

1 Corinthians 13:9 tells us that “agape never fails”.  Definitely setting it apart from other varieties of love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us that it is “greater than faith and hope”. Ephesians 3:19 explains that it “passes knowledge”

But probably the reason why followers of Jesus Christ confine and define this type of love to the idea of being unconditional…is because of the contextual definition provided by the bible itself as it speaks of the concept.

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for all” Ephesians 5:2 “…as Christ also has loved us, and given Himself for us, and offering and a sacrifice…” Ephesians 5:25 “…as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…”

So it seems evident, that Christ’s love is demonstrated by sacrifice, a personal sacrifice resulting in His own death. This sacrifice was not given conditionally.  Jesus died for the “world”, kosmos…world of people.  He died first, and then extended an invitation.  His sacrifice, this act of love was given unconditionally, but not without qualification. Love must be facilitated through “repentance and faith”, but it is still given. Love is offered first, and that is the point, Jesus died first, without condition.

The law was (is) very complicated and extensive.  At the time of Jesus it represented over 300 biblical instructions (those recorded in the Torah) and over 300 unwritten and later to be recorded human, traditional, additions called the Talmud which were later placed also into a written record.

The Torah represents certain legal compartments which can be understood as…

• Civil (land measurements and distributions, corporal and capital consequences, civil law things)
• Ceremonial (or religious, Sabbaths Ex 20:8, feasts and festivals Lev 23 etc., purification things, tithes)
• Moral (e.g. most of the 10 commandments, Ex 20 “not murder, not commit adultery, not steal”)

Israel was commanded to observe the Civil, Ceremonial and Moral laws of God to represent their distinction…their uniqueness (Ex 31:13 for example).

Jesus was a Jew, and therefore of course he would keep the law, the only person ever to live on earth who did, perfectly. Additionally, at times Jesus would have to clarify or re-interpret the law (just because Israel knew the law and attempted to observe it, didn’t mean they fully understood it) Jesus says “You have heard” Matt 5:21, 27, 31, 33, 38, 43 and then he goes on to clarify. “Have you not read”  Matt 19:4 …and then he reminds them of things they were suppose to know.

The church is not Israel…a reading of the New Testament will support the church’s observance/obedience to the Moral law of the Old Testament, and that, of course, to reveal sons of God, not to produce sons of God.

Galatians 2:16 “knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ”