The first thing that we need to emphasize is that God highly esteems marriage and even though He permits divorce and remarriage under certain circumstances His word carefully guards against any frivolous reason for ending a marriage, including ending a marriage with the possibility of remarriage.

This is why, in Matthew 19:3 the Pharisees came to Jesus with a hidden agenda and asked Him “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

This question can be traced back to Deuteronomy 24:1.  In Jesus’ day the readers were interpreting this “uncleanness” (Heb. ervah-sexual shame) as anything from their wives raising their voices to burning dinner.  So Jesus was quick and clear with His response.  He said in Matt.19:9 “And I say to you, whosoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality”.  That was Jesus’ commentary on ‘ervah’ back in Deut.21.

So it is clear that DISLOYALTY is a biblically recognized reason for divorce and remarriage.  (According to Matt. 19;9 a person would not be committing adultery if they remarried. Mark 10 also talks about this including the woman’s perspective.)

Romans 7 and 1Corinthians 7 both talk about DEATH as a situation that ends the “bond” of marriage (“released from the law of her husband”) from God’s perspective (1Cor 7:39).

1 Corinthians 7:15 says “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart, a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases.”  So that answers the question of DESERTION.

Now how about DANGER?  Would God comment at all about the marriage status of a woman who was being beaten everyday by her husband?  Would he care about the knocked out teeth, scull fractures, acid burns, slashed faces, children in the home placed in peril because of this husbands “friends” who may be abusing them on routine bases?  This is the reality for some women in America and certainly globally, where often laws protecting woman are much less vague or strictly enforced.

So where would God talk about that?  Is there a chapter, a verse?  Ever notice how Paul in 1 Cor 7 while talking about marriage repeatedly says, “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord.” Or, “But to the rest I, not the Lord, say”.  Or “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord.”  The reason why Paul says this is because marriage is such a complicated issue.  It is really impossible to list all of the individual and specific scenarios and problems.  That is the purpose of 1 Corinthians 7:10-11.  It is obviously a more general instruction, and might be considered something like a “protection of woman clause”.  And its requirements are tough.

Verse 10 “A wife is not to depart from her husband.”  Verse 11 “But even if she does depart.”  Now the next thing you would expect to read would be something like. “but even if she does depart, she has done wrong!”  But it doesn’t say that, the passage says, “But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried.”  So for whatever reason this “departing” represents, while the built in consequences are tough (remain unmarried), there is no condemnation for this action by the woman.  The only other thing that Paul says is, “or be reconciled to her husband”.  This is the protection clause for any woman in a marriage relationship.  If there is a situation that is serious and legitimate where she determines that she must “depart” (like the DANGEROUS situations I mentioned above) she can end the marriage, but she cannot just find someone else.  There is provision built in for some hope for the relationship (some reconciliation), if conditions improve, at lease as long as the man remains alive.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

The answer to this question lies in a proper understanding of 2 things:

1. God’s desire for reconciliation with mankind
2. Our health throughout our relationship with Christ as Lord and Savior

Because of our sin, we are positionally disconnected from God before we place our trust in Christ. Once we have made a commitment to God, through repentance and faith, we enter into a righteous standing with God because of Jesus’ work on our behalf. This means that we cannot be made positionally unrighteous again because we have accepted Christ’s sacrifice as sufficient.

After we have made this commitment though, John talks about the importance of still confessing our sins to God (remember Christ modeled this as well in Matthew 6:9-13). John says If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. This is teaching us two things about the importance of confession of sin as a Christian:

1. The first is that it speaks to us as a reminder that we are still sinful and in need of God’s grace and forgiveness.
2. The second thing it does is help maintain a level of health in our relationship with God. The relationship exists already because of our acceptance of Christ’s work on the cross, but the relationship keeps a level of healthiness through a continuous process of confession of our sins and a continuous forgiveness from Jesus.

Think of it this way: I have entered in a marriage covenant with my wife where we have agreed to love one another through sickness, health, poverty and wealth. Those vows mean that my wife and I are in a relationship where we have committed to sticking it out no matter what happens (similar to the commitment that God makes to us). Now, if I sin against my wife in some way, shape or form, she and I are still committed to one another through our marriage vows, BUT it is still wise to confess my sin to her and ask for her forgiveness so that we can maintain healthy trust and communication with one another. In the same way, when we sin against God, we cannot destroy the covenant, but confession does assist in the healthy communication of our relationship with God.

Grace and Peace!

Of second importance no where in Scripture do we see any Apostolic authority establishing that the provocation of any of the above movements of the Holy Spirit would cease after an established period of time (although we know that they will not last forever, 1 Corinthians 13:8) or be isolated to any particular geographic location (Jerusalem, Ephesus, Corinth, etc.) this biblical fact does not lend itself to support a secession of the gifts (including and not limited to speaking in tongues) at the conclusion of the Apostolic age nor does a simple absence of biblical proof against their continuation prove that these gifts are still being expressed through the faithful today.

The Bottom line is that we should never read the Scripture based on any preconceived notions lest we impose on the text and therefore dishonor it. What is of true importance when trying to understand the gift of speaking in tongues or any Spiritual gift is that every gift is dispensed by God’s grace (1 Corinthians 12:27-31) and not by man’s will (Hebrews 2:4), that they are dispensed by God for the personal and communal edification of believers, and that any gift bestowed upon a believer needs to be handled with propriety and practiced biblically under the instruction of the Scriptures.

For a detailed understanding of the use and practice of speaking in tongues please read 1 Corinthians 14:5-29.

God has given us His Word as a guide for our lives, so of course He would give us an example of what godly feminity looks like, single or married, children or no children, divorced or widowed.

The first passage that comes to mind would be Titus 2. Titus is a book on conduct, the way we ought to live as models of christian living.Verse 5 says, “This instruction is so that the Word of God may not be dishonored,” and verse 8, “So that the opponent may be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us.” Verse 10, “So that we may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect.” And we see in verse 11, “God’s grace has appeared, bringing salvation to all men.” It is through our conduct, our obedience to the Word of God that the opponent is put to shame and God’s salvation is brought to people.

John MacArthur says, “If the saving grace of Christ is to reach all men, it’s going to depend on the character of the church. If we honor the Word, silence the critics and demonstrate that God is a saving God by our transformed lives, then the gospel will be powerfully effective.”

In Titus 2 we are given very specific roles and responsibilities, a job description if you will. We see there are instructions for older men, younger men, older women and younger women. The phrase ‘older women,’ refers to women who are past child bearing/child rearing age which during that time, a time of no birth control, women could be having children late into their forties and thus rearing them until their teenage years which means ‘older women’ are those probably above the age of 60. So, I will assume that you are among the ‘younger women’ in that passage and although it does include responsibilities for both a wife and a mother, it also includes other helpful information for living a life that is pleasing to God as a woman who is single or not. ‘so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.’

sensible – to have sound judgment, common sense, right thinking, right priorities, very basic. (i.e. knowing your priorities, thinking right and applying wisdom.)
pure - morally pure, virtuous, sexually faithful to their husband (or if they are single, to their future husband.) In 1 Timothy 2, you see the words “modestly and discreetly,” that there is thought behind your actions, your dress, your words, and that thought is: “I never have intentions of distracting someone from worshiping God or potentially causing another believer to sin.”
kind – gentle, tender-hearted, merciful, thoughtful

A perfect Biblical example of those characteristics would be Ruth. Ruth was a widow, but single nonetheless so studying her life is a great way to see how God desires a single woman to honor Him.

Ruth was loyal, sacrificial and selfless (she gave up EVERYTHING to follow after God – what do we need to give up in order to follow whole-heartedly after God?), she is a woman of action, a hard worker, responsible and diligent (she would have had to get up early in the morning and would have worked in the fields all day in the heat…), she wasn’t looking for hand outs and was willing to do whatever it would take to make sure that those she loved (Naomi – mother-in-law) were taken care of, she made no excuses, we never see her complain about her situation which was devastatingly bad from a world’s perspective, a giver (2:18), through her suffering she maintained emotional stability and made good decisions (especially important with women and our tendency to run off of emotions), she is a risk-taker (chapter 3), respectful: seeks the advise of an older, wiser follower of God and heeds her advice, she is sweet, tender, gentle, we see her patiently seeking God, waiting, listening to and loving God, she has integrity and character (3:10 – she could have had any guy she wanted), she had a great reputation (3:11 – people knew who she was and were in awe of how she was sacrificially, selflessly living; so much so that they were talking about it)… most importantly we see from the very beginning and throughout the book, Ruth’s love and pursuit of God “Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.”

1 Peter 3 says ‘but you worry about the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, precious in the sight of God, for in this way in former times, the holy women also used to adorn themselves.’

Focus on your pursuit of God, of becoming more like Christ rather than the external, rather than what the world and our culture tells us what defines and makes up a woman, what we should act like, look like. Look to the Bible for your answers to those questions, not the world, and you will no doubt be molded into exactly who God wants you to be.

Spiritual gifts are for the edification of the church (1 cor 14:12). So any spiritual gift that is given is for the external manifestation of ministry to build the kingdom of God. We are all given spiritual gifts and we should not covet others’ but pray to ask God to reveal our own so that we may serve our part in God’s design.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. “

Gifts are given so that we may complete the work that God has given us. This is why we should not covet others’ gifts, because each part has its own function and eternal end.

Speaking in tongues is a sign for unbelievers not believers (1 cor 14:22). The use of tongues biblically is always applied for the spirit to remove the language barrier between people so that those who do not speak the language may hear and understand the gospel. The perfect example of this is in Acts 2 at Pentecost. Many of the believers were in the upper room and they all started to speak in tongues, the direct effect of them speaking in tongues was that Jews from “every nation under heaven” heard the gospel in their native tongue/language.

Paul gives the tongues rule book in 1 Corinthians 14. First, tongues must be interpreted if it is in a church setting so the edification can come. Paul says in vs. 16, how can i say Amen, if i don’t know what was said. Also if an unbeliever walks into a service and hears the tongues without interpretation he would think everyone is crazy(vs.23). Tongues are not a spiritual aptitude to know that we are believers, we are all given spiritual gifts and it is in the manifestation of the fruits of the Spirit that we know believers, not in a specific gift.

We Are To Multiply

In order to gain a context for the answer to this somewhat controversial topic in question, we immediately need to be pushed back to Genesis 1:28 “Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth…” So what is the obvious point that God is making in this verse?  We are to procreate as human beings, as creations of God.

There may be some random passages which speak about mismanaging a sanctioned opportunity to procreate like the strange account of Onan in Genesis 38:9-10, but that seems to be addressing a specific failure to continue a generational family line.

God Values Embryos As Life

Abortion as birth control is obviously forbidden, as well as something like the “morning after pill” because they both tamper with a developing child already conceived (see Exodus 21:22 “If men fight, and hurt a woman with child, so that she gives birth prematurely…”  Notice the woman is referred to as being with child).  Psalm 139:16 says “Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed…” (my substance, being yet unformed is all one word in the Hebrew: golem – something rolled together, an embryo, a fetus. The interlinear actually reads: “My embryo saw your eyes”).  So we can see that God has great respect for the pre-born, biological development of a human being, which He calls a child.

Silence On The Subject

There doesn’t seem to be any specific, technical mention about birth control in the Bible. So, while avoiding the problems mentioned above, it seems that God leaves things up to the discretion of the couple. Medically speaking, when making the decision to decide on the right birth control pill, a married couple should do research to make sure that the pill chosen does not tamper in any way with an already conceived embryo. That would be the Biblical thing to do.

This is just one’s humble opinion. Do your own research, formulate your own conclusions, and pray that God will give you insight.

Great question!  This is one that many of us ladies ask at one point or another in our spiritual journey… especially if we live in warm climates!  As we grow in our Christian faith, we begin to look at others and their needs and as a result, these types of questions arise…

First, let’s look at Romans 12:9-11-“Let love be without hypocrisy.  Abhor what is evil.  Cling to what is good.  Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another, not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord…”

What a great passage on the way we are to treat one another!

• “Let love be without hypocrisy” – remember love is not a feeling but an action/choice to put another person’s needs above your own. It could be defined as “a self-less humble service to meet another’s need no matter how lowly the service or how undeserving the person served.  It is a willful, joyful desire to put others over yourself, your feelings, your desires, your ambitions, etc”.  (1 Corinthians 13:1-7)
• “Abhor what is evil.  Cling to what is good” – Bikinis are not evil.  In fact, no piece of clothing is evil… but as you said, the response it prompts in the hearts of some is evil (Romans 14:14-16).  This verse reminds us that we are to pursue what is good over what is evil.
• “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love… giving preference to one another” – We are to treat every other believer like a family member… these are the people we look out for the MOST!  We are to prefer others over ourselves.  (Philippians 2:3-4)

That being said, let’s look at the principles of Christian Liberty (Romans 14:1-15:13, 1 Corinthians 10:23-30)

1 Corinthians 10:23- All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me  but not all things edify.

In Paul’s day, the argument in the Christian world wasn’t about bikinis but about whether or not it was sinful to eat meat that had been sacrificed to idols in the pagan temples.  Ex-pagans who were now Christians thought it was a horribly sinful practice whereas ex-jewish Christians realized it was yummy meat and not a big deal.  Kind of like today; some Christians have no problem whatsoever wearing bikinis while other Christians really struggle with the idea because it’s a temptation to their brothers.  Let’s briefly look at 4 principles from 1 Corinthians 10:23-30

1. It is better to build up (“edify”) someone else than to gratify yourself (make yourself feel good) (v23)
2. Put others over self- this is a no-brainer and a key to the Christian life (Philippians 2:3-4).  We are always to prioritize the needs of others over our own desires and needs (v24)
3. Beware of legalism – following rules for the sake of rules – bikinis are not sinful, they are pieces of clothing and we must beware that we don’t have a legalistic attitude about them. (v25-27)
4. It is better to limit your “freedom” as a Christian in order to protect another Christian than it is to fit in with nonbelievers (v28-30)

Remember that we need to love others and put their needs above our own in everything we do… in our speech, in our attitudes, in our time, in our financial giving… and yes, even in our dress.

Galatians 5:13 - For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Romans 14:15 – Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. [for this question, translate “food” as “clothing”]

If you know that wearing “revealing” clothing causes your Christian brothers to stumble into sin and temptation (Romans 14:21) and your conscience is telling you that it’s wrong, then you have to follow what your conscience is saying and “limit your liberty” to wear certain things in order to protect your brother in Christ.  However, we always must be careful not to condemn others if their conscience does not tell them something is wrong (Romans 14:3)

Remember, our goals are always to love and serve others… we can always measure these types of issues by asking “am I showing love to my brothers and sisters if I do ___________?” or “am I serving others if I do ________ or am I serving myself?”

First of all this is a delicate situation and one that requires sensitivity, compassion, and care. No one in their right mind would think that the situation at hand necessitates hanging around. Even if I didn’t know anything about God’s Word, and what it says about specific grounds for divorce, I would still tend to lean towards the side of caution here and tell you that this predicament is one that you or anyone else would want not to continue lingering in.

Biblical Grounds For Divorce

The great news is that the Bible is very clear and direct in stating what the grounds for divorce are. To help you easily remember them, they all start with the letter d. They are death (Romans 7:2-3); disloyalty (Matthew 19:3,9); and desertion (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). In all of these instances as seen in the above passages as well, the Bible supports and sanctions a remarriage.

But there seems to be a fourth reason that the Bible includes as grounds for a divorce. If we read again in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we see from verses 10 and 11 this presented: “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord:” (Meaning this was actually the instruction of Jesus while incarnate on earth)  “A wife is not to depart (the Greek word here is the word for divorce) from her husband”. That’s it…that was the teaching and the standard of Jesus. No divorce, sorry wives, no divorce.

What About Danger In The Marriage?

So the question enters, what if he is not unfaithful, and he hasn’t physically abandoned the marriage/family, but he is beating her up daily, or bringing drug dealers home, or pedophiles who are endangering the kids, or he is robbing banks etc…? The point is that there is a serious threat or danger within the marriage. “But even if she does depart (again, the same word: divorce).” What this is saying is that there will be instances for a woman divorcing a husband for a reasonable cause (danger). This is what Jesus is inferring. But there’s a qualifier: “Let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband”

She can divorce because of danger but has to remain unmarried. If he gets his act together, there may be hope for the marriage in the future.  So the wife can get out of the way of danger, but has to remain unmarried.  This qualifier keeps a wife from tossing her husband for a lesser reason (irritations).  Because if she did walk away for a lesser reason, she would not have true Biblical grounds for divorcing her husband.

So, the final analysis is that Jesus leaves room for a wife being able to terminate a marriage if she is any sort of perceived danger.

A casual research of the term “physician” will assist us with developing an understanding of doctors and medicine from God’s view point.

Old Testament View of Doctors

In Jeremiah 8:22, the prophet is noticeably upset about the spiritual state of Judah.  So he formats his communication to help us understand his concern.  He says…”Is there no balm (Hebrew:  tseriy / medicine) in Gilead, Is there no physician there?”  His point is, if there is medical, physical healing available in Judah, why isn’t there any spiritual healing and potential of recovery in that way?  Jeremiah viewed physicians and medicine as something positive.

Jesus’ View of Doctors

Jesus said in Matthew 9:12 “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick”.  The clear implication being, physicians benefit sick people. In Colossians 4:14, Luke is referred to by Paul as, “Luke the beloved physician”.  So, we see that, one of the human authors of a book of the New Testament was a medical doctor, and he was call beloved.

Mark 5:25-26 does tell the story about “a certain woman (who) had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians.  She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse.” The message here is that sometimes…no matter how competent and how numerous the doctors and medicines are, they still will not be able to accomplish a cure.

In this situation, it provided the opportunity for Jesus to step in and preform a miracle.  But the overall message from the bible certainly does not depreciate or prohibit the use of medical doctors or medicine.

Let’s understand the nature of man first. When Adam and Eve rebelled against God the relationship between man and God was destroyed (Gen 3:3), along with the relationship between man and earth (Gen 2:17), man and animal and of course man and man (Gen 3:16, gen 4:8). The fall destroyed perfect relationships. This is our nature until we are born again and the old man has died and the new creation has come. We now are free from the shackles of sins lordship but we still exist in the fleshly bodies which feed our ability to sin.

When we become a Christian we now have the resources to reconcile the nature of relationships how God has created them to be. First we have the Spirt in us which is the power and the motivation to direct us and guide us to live in relationships as we should. Next we have the Word of God which directs us through the gamut of relationship issues such as dealing with conflicts (Matt 18), Marriage (Ephesians 5), Body of Christ (John 13:34-35 ), the world around us (Rom 12:18-21, Phil 2:3-4), us and the spirit (Gal 5:16-26), us and wisdom (Ephesians 5:15-21), children and parents (Ephesians 6:1-4), servants and masters(Ephesians 6:5-9), family (Col 3:18-21), us and Christ (John 15:4, 9-11).

So as we live in the word, we must conform unto it, that we may have a new mind and heart. In dwelling in his word we have relationship wisdom. When we do fall short we must repent and mend relationships as best as possible. Repentance is a necessity in the Christian walk, for we must be humble and allow truth to stand against us that we may bow before it against our pride and selfishness. We are called to live relationally. it is our nature as humans, for we were made in the image of a relational triune God who exist in relationship within himself.

So as we live here on earth until we are called home, we should be encouraged that we can now be the light of the true nature of relationships to the world around us, who continues to live in the broken nature relationships.