Q. What is the Biblical meaning of speaking in tongues? Is it fruitful? Is it real when I hear people doing it or is it just babel?
Spiritual gifts are for the edification of the church (1 cor 14:12). So any spiritual gift that is given is for the external manifestation of ministry to build the kingdom of God. We are all given spiritual gifts and we should not covet others’ but pray to ask God to reveal our own so that we may serve our part in God’s design.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. “

Gifts are given so that we may complete the work that God has given us. This is why we should not covet others’ gifts, because each part has its own function and eternal end.

Speaking in tongues is a sign for unbelievers not believers (1 cor 14:22). The use of tongues biblically is always applied for the spirit to remove the language barrier between people so that those who do not speak the language may hear and understand the gospel. The perfect example of this is in Acts 2 at Pentecost. Many of the believers were in the upper room and they all started to speak in tongues, the direct effect of them speaking in tongues was that Jews from “every nation under heaven” heard the gospel in their native tongue/language.

Paul gives the tongues rule book in 1 Corinthians 14. First, tongues must be interpreted if it is in a church setting so the edification can come. Paul says in vs. 16, how can i say Amen, if i don’t know what was said. Also if an unbeliever walks into a service and hears the tongues without interpretation he would think everyone is crazy(vs.23). Tongues are not a spiritual aptitude to know that we are believers, we are all given spiritual gifts and it is in the manifestation of the fruits of the Spirit that we know believers, not in a specific gift.

Q. I know this is a controversial issue, but what does the Bible say about birth control?  Is this an instance where we must listen to our God-given conscience because there is no direct instruction on the matter?
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We Are To Multiply
In order to gain a context for the answer to this somewhat controversial topic in question, we immediately need to be pushed back to Genesis 1:28 “Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth…” So what is the obvious point that God is making in this verse?  We are to procreate as human beings, as creations of God.

There may be some random passages which speak about mismanaging a sanctioned opportunity to procreate like the strange account of Onan in Genesis 38:9-10, but that seems to be addressing a specific failure to continue a generational family line.
God Values Embryos As Life
Abortion as birth control is obviously forbidden, as well as something like the “morning after pill” because they both tamper with a developing child already conceived (see Exodus 21:22 “If men fight, and hurt a woman with child, so that she gives birth prematurely…”  Notice the woman is referred to as being with child).  Psalm 139:16 says “Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed…” (my substance, being yet unformed is all one word in the Hebrew: golem – something rolled together, an embryo, a fetus. The interlinear actually reads: “My embryo saw your eyes”).  So we can see that God has great respect for the pre-born, biological development of a human being, which He calls a child.
Silence On The Subject
There doesn’t seem to be any specific, technical mention about birth control in the Bible. So, while avoiding the problems mentioned above, it seems that God leaves things up to the discretion of the couple. Medically speaking, when making the decision to decide on the right birth control pill, a married couple should do research to make sure that the pill chosen does not tamper in any way with an already conceived embryo. That would be the Biblical thing to do.

This is just one’s humble opinion. Do your own research, formulate your own conclusions, and pray that God will give you insight.

Q. I have been wondering what reasonable boundaries should be for modesty in today’s society.  I know the Bible says that it’s better for a woman to be Godly instead of being more concerned with expensive clothing and makeup, but what about swimming suits and stuff?  If I know that my guy classmates are tempted visually, why should I wear a bikini?  That’s not helping them out.  I guess I just need some clarification about what the Bible says.  Thanks.
Great question!  This is one that many of us ladies ask at one point or another in our spiritual journey… especially if we live in warm climates!  As we grow in our Christian faith, we begin to look at others and their needs and as a result, these types of questions arise…

First, let’s look at Romans 12:9-11-“Let love be without hypocrisy.  Abhor what is evil.  Cling to what is good.  Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another, not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord…”

What a great passage on the way we are to treat one another!

• “Let love be without hypocrisy” – remember love is not a feeling but an action/choice to put another person’s needs above your own. It could be defined as “a self-less humble service to meet another’s need no matter how lowly the service or how undeserving the person served.  It is a willful, joyful desire to put others over yourself, your feelings, your desires, your ambitions, etc”.  (1 Corinthians 13:1-7)
• “Abhor what is evil.  Cling to what is good” – Bikinis are not evil.  In fact, no piece of clothing is evil… but as you said, the response it prompts in the hearts of some is evil (Romans 14:14-16).  This verse reminds us that we are to pursue what is good over what is evil.
• “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love… giving preference to one another” – We are to treat every other believer like a family member… these are the people we look out for the MOST!  We are to prefer others over ourselves.  (Philippians 2:3-4)

That being said, let’s look at the principles of Christian Liberty (Romans 14:1-15:13, 1 Corinthians 10:23-30)

1 Corinthians 10:23- All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me  but not all things edify.

In Paul’s day, the argument in the Christian world wasn’t about bikinis but about whether or not it was sinful to eat meat that had been sacrificed to idols in the pagan temples.  Ex-pagans who were now Christians thought it was a horribly sinful practice whereas ex-jewish Christians realized it was yummy meat and not a big deal.  Kind of like today; some Christians have no problem whatsoever wearing bikinis while other Christians really struggle with the idea because it’s a temptation to their brothers.  Let’s briefly look at 4 principles from 1 Corinthians 10:23-30

Remember that we need to love others and put their needs above our own in everything we do… in our speech, in our attitudes, in our time, in our financial giving… and yes, even in our dress.

Galatians 5:13 - For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Romans 14:15 – Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died.

If you know that wearing “revealing” clothing causes your Christian brothers to stumble into sin and temptation (Romans 14:21) and your conscience is telling you that it’s wrong, then you have to follow what your conscience is saying and “limit your liberty” to wear certain things in order to protect your brother in Christ.  However, we always must be careful not to condemn others if their conscience does not tell them something is wrong (Romans 14:3)

Remember, our goals are always to love and serve others… we can always measure these types of issues by asking “am I showing love to my brothers and sisters if I do ___________?” or “am I serving others if I do ________ or am I serving myself?”

Q. My husband of 13 years does not love me anymore to the point that he tried to kill me with one of his guns and bruised me up that day in front of our preschooler. On police advice, I filed a protective order against him and 2 weeks later I filed for divorce. I’m scared to stay married to him because I know he hates me. Do I have biblical grounds for divorce, or should I dismiss the filing on my next hearing?
First of all this is a delicate situation and one that requires sensitivity, compassion, and care. No one in their right mind would think that the situation at hand necessitates hanging around. Even if I didn’t know anything about God’s Word, and what it says about specific grounds for divorce, I would still tend to lean towards the side of caution here and tell you that this predicament is one that you or anyone else would want not to continue lingering in.
Biblical Grounds For Divorce
The great news is that the Bible is very clear and direct in stating what the grounds for divorce are. To help you easily remember them, they all start with the letter d. They are death (Romans 7:2-3); disloyalty (Matthew 19:3,9); and desertion (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). In all of these instances as seen in the above passages as well, the Bible supports and sanctions a remarriage.

But there seems to be a fourth reason that the Bible includes as grounds for a divorce. If we read again in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we see from verses 10 and 11 this presented: “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord:” (Meaning this was actually the instruction of Jesus while incarnate on earth)  “A wife is not to depart (the Greek word here is the word for divorce) from her husband”. That’s it…that was the teaching and the standard of Jesus. No divorce, sorry wives, no divorce.
What About Danger In The Marriage?
So the question enters, what if he is not unfaithful, and he hasn’t physically abandoned the marriage/family, but he is beating her up daily, or bringing drug dealers home, or pedophiles who are endangering the kids, or he is robbing banks etc…? The point is that there is a serious threat or danger within the marriage. “But even if she does depart (again, the same word: divorce).” What this is saying is that there will be instances for a woman divorcing a husband for a reasonable cause (danger). This is what Jesus is inferring. But there’s a qualifier: “Let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband”

She can divorce because of danger but has to remain unmarried. If he gets his act together, there may be hope for the marriage in the future.  So the wife can get out of the way of danger, but has to remain unmarried.  This qualifier keeps a wife from tossing her husband for a lesser reason (irritations).  Because if she did walk away for a lesser reason, she would not have true Biblical grounds for divorcing her husband.

So, the final analysis is that Jesus leaves room for a wife being able to terminate a marriage if she is any sort of perceived danger.

Q. What does God say about doctors and healing. I have many christian friends who say doctors are trying to imitate God and they are afraid of going to one saying they are a lack of faith in God. Are there any verses pertaining to this. I am deeply troubled because I am studying to become a doctor and I am a christian.
A casual research of the term “physician” will assist us with developing an understanding of doctors and medicine from God’s view point.
Old Testament View of Doctors
In Jeremiah 8:22, the prophet is noticeably upset about the spiritual state of Judah.  So he formats his communication to help us understand his concern.  He says…”Is there no balm (Hebrew:  tseriy / medicine) in Gilead, Is there no physician there?”  His point is, if there is medical, physical healing available in Judah, why isn’t there any spiritual healing and potential of recovery in that way?  Jeremiah viewed physicians and medicine as something positive.
Jesus’ View of Doctors
Jesus said in Matthew 9:12 “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick”.  The clear implication being, physicians benefit sick people. In Colossians 4:14, Luke is referred to by Paul as, “Luke the beloved physician”.  So, we see that, one of the human authors of a book of the New Testament was a medical doctor, and he was call beloved.

Mark 5:25-26 does tell the story about “a certain woman (who) had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians.  She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse.” The message here is that sometimes…no matter how competent and how numerous the doctors and medicines are, they still will not be able to accomplish a cure.

In this situation, it provided the opportunity for Jesus to step in and preform a miracle.  But the overall message from the bible certainly does not depreciate or prohibit the use of medical doctors or medicine.

Q. What does the bible say about there being a rift in some of our relationships after becoming a christian?
Let’s understand the nature of man first. When Adam and Eve rebelled against God the relationship between man and God was destroyed (Gen 3:3), along with the relationship between man and earth (Gen 2:17), man and animal and of course man and man (Gen 3:16, gen 4:8). The fall destroyed perfect relationships. This is our nature until we are born again and the old man has died and the new creation has come. We now are free from the shackles of sins lordship but we still exist in the fleshly bodies which feed our ability to sin.

When we become a Christian we now have the resources to reconcile the nature of relationships how God has created them to be. First we have the Spirt in us which is the power and the motivation to direct us and guide us to live in relationships as we should. Next we have the Word of God which directs us through the gamut of relationship issues such as dealing with conflicts (Matt 18), Marriage (Ephesians 5), Body of Christ (John 13:34-35 ), the world around us (Rom 12:18-21, Phil 2:3-4), us and the spirit (Gal 5:16-26), us and wisdom (Ephesians 5:15-21), children and parents (Ephesians 6:1-4), servants and masters(Ephesians 6:5-9), family (Col 3:18-21), us and Christ (John 15:4, 9-11).

So as we live in the word, we must conform unto it, that we may have a new mind and heart. In dwelling in his word we have relationship wisdom. When we do fall short we must repent and mend relationships as best as possible. Repentance is a necessity in the Christian walk, for we must be humble and allow truth to stand against us that we may bow before it against our pride and selfishness. We are called to live relationally. it is our nature as humans, for we were made in the image of a relational triune God who exist in relationship within himself.

So as we live here on earth until we are called home, we should be encouraged that we can now be the light of the true nature of relationships to the world around us, who continues to live in the broken nature relationships.

Q. Why are bigamy and polygamy frowned upon today when there were plenty of polygamists in the Bible?  Why the double standard?

The history of marriages recorded in the Bible reflect the complications and often confusion marriages sometimes represent even today.
God’s Standard
God was very careful to provide some basic guidelines and standards for marriage in Genesis 2: 24-25 and then Moses codified some additional standards in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 to clarify marriage and divorce standards for the nation.

Jesus validated and amplified Torah teachings in Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19 and Mark 10.

OK, bigamy is strongly condemned through the narrative recorded in Genesis 20. Polygamy is referenced in Gen. 2:24…”Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The concept of ‘two becoming one’ is the emphasis.  Jesus mentions this in Matt 19 and Mark 10 and Paul references it in Ephesians 5.

So the standard is clear…no bigamy, no polygamy.  Jesus’ answer to those questioning Him about marriage issues in Matt.19:8 was, “but from the beginning it was not so.” Jesus would point people back to the original standard established in Genesis 2.
Humans’ Sin
So then why did Abraham and the patriarchs and David and Solomon ignore the standard of “oneness” of monogamy. They had their not so legitimate reasons.

Abraham had trust issues.  He was promised a great nation by God (Gen 12:2), but he and his wife were unable to conceive (Gen 15:2). So Abram’s wife Sarai (later Abraham and Sarah) came up with the plan to have Abram take her maid Hagar as a wife to provide an heir.  After Ishmael was born, tension immediately developed between the two women, and Sarah ended up treating Hagar harshly and “and she (Hagar) fled from her presence” (Gen 16:6), to actually and eventually become a separate nation!

Even though Abraham was not directly called out for this disregard for the divine and later biblical standard, the complications of this arrangement, which clearly violated Genesis 2, is inescapable. You will see the same or even a greater level of complications through the life of Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, as his sons conflicted with each other measurably.

David was commanded in Deuteronomy 17:16-17 not to multiply horses, wives, or greatly multiply gold or silver.  He had a least a half dozen wives (isn’t that what kings did…maintain harems?). The conflicts that arose between the children are legend.  One son raping his half sister.  Other sons trying to take over the throne.  The intrigue continued all the way to the coronation of Solomon.

The point is…people violated the standard for marriage…and even though it appeared that heaven remained silent…the consequences demonstrated something else. Remember, the examples of God’s people in the bible (other than Jesus, God himself) are sinners. We see real examples of their sin. Yet another reason the Bible isn’t a man made book…if it were, those godly men would have simply taken out the parts mentioning their rejection of God’s teaching.

Q. How do you know if you’ve forgiven someone? Does feeling pain mean that you haven’t forgiven the person?
What Forgiveness Is
Forgiveness can be a difficult thing not only to do, but to understand.  By way of analogy, it can be seen as the relinquishing of a debt owed to you by someone else.  Often the debt is emotional, as in cases where you have been offended or maligned by someone, and you feel that they should make restitution for their offense.  If you’ve been ignored, you may feel as though the offender should give you recognition.  If you’ve been insulted, you might feel that the offender should give you accolades.  Whatever the case, there is something you feel should be done for you, or on your behalf.

This analogy can apply to our position before God.  All of us enter this world bearing the mark of sin, and because of it, we owe a debt to God which we are incapable of paying (Romans 5:12).  Jesus Christ assumed our collective debt of sin, and made restitution for it by His death on the cross (Isaiah 53:5).  The choice to forgive humanity was strictly by God’s volition.  We could not merit it; we deserve His wrath.  In the same way, when we forgive, it must be an intentional choice, regardless of how ill-deserving we think the offender may be, because that is what God modeled for us.
What It Is Not
It is a mistake to think that forgiveness and emotional healing always go hand in hand.  In fact, there will be cases when forgiveness is offered, but the pain remains.  I may pray for the strength to forgive someone who takes the life of my family member, but it will be a long time before the pain lessens.

That forgiveness is independent of emotion is what makes it so profoundly difficult (because we often think and act based on emotion).  Yet this also makes forgiveness so magnificent.  As we celebrate Easter, we reflect on the resurrection of Jesus, but also on his preceding death when, while hanging on the cross above His executioners, He asks the Father to “forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).  Jesus felt unimaginable physical and emotional pain, yet pleaded with the Father to grant forgiveness to those who murdered Him.  In the same way, our forgiveness must be intentional, independent of our pain, and modeled after God’s forgiveness of us: “as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13).

Q. He (Jesus) answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark 10:11-12

In light of this verse why is it that the church as a whole seems to be so ok with marrying people who have been divorced? How does Aletheia deal with this issue?
This question has brought about much controversy in the church over the years. Once again with a proper Biblical perspective, the answer to a seemingly complicated question becomes very simplistic.

The context of the passage in question, along with other New Testament passages, needs to be comprehensively looked at in order to form a more accurate stance on if divorce is acceptable and if it is, when it is acceptable.
How Is Marriage Defined?
The Bible doesn’t contradict itself so in other words, it won’t say divorce is okay in one verse and then it’s not in another. Marriage, as we see it defined in Genesis chapter 2 by Jesus in the same passage in question (verses 6, 7, and 8 ) is understood as:

1. Marriage is between a man and a woman (two humans of different gender). God didn’t create a bunch of humans in the beginning to all inter-marry with each other and trade up a spouse for another. No, it is meant solely and distinctly for two people.

2. Marriage intends for two people to come together and literally “be joined.” This word means to be glued together. Have you ever used gorilla super glue before? That stuff is not intended to lose it’s adhesiveness ever. The same goes for the marriage union. When a man leaves his mother and father to be joined to his wife, this is meant to be forever.

3. When two people are joined in marriage, they become one flesh. This word one is a compound unity term which signifies singularity within plurality. The same term is used to describe the Lord in Deuteronomy 6:4 and a cluster of grapes in Numbers 13:23.

4. Marriage is brought together by God with a command that it not be messed with. In the same passage verse 9, Jesus says what God has brought together let now man separate. God ordains marriage and therefore it shouldn’t be tampered with by man because God is supreme.
Misinterpreting God’s Word
The Pharisees whom Jesus was directing this answer to were trying to trip Jesus up. They were taking out of context a passage in the Mosaic law (Deut. 24:1-4). That passage recognized the reality of divorce and as we see in Mark 10:4, these Pharisees answer Jesus’ statement of “What did Moses command you?” with “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.” Moses (through God’s help) knew that divorce was inevitable so the reason for the “certificate” was to protect the woman’s rights within the marriage and to keep things documented. The certificate allowed the woman (or man) to be released from the marriage to be remarried unless the reasons were of an sexually immoral nature.

Obviously Mosaic law taught that immorality within a marriage (adultery) was wrong (Ex 20:14; Lev 20:10). This faction of Pharisees believed that Mosaic law allowed for divorce to take place under any circumstances. They were wrong. Jesus tells them that they are rebellious and proceeds to let them know that divorce is not cool.
What Scripture Says About Divorce
Then, God goes on to use the Biblical writers like Paul to specify the grounds in which divorce is acceptable. It’s not okay under any other circumstance except when a spouse dies (Romans 7:2-3); when there is disloyalty (Matthew 19:9); when there is desertion (1 Cor 7:15). Under these circumstances, a person is allowed to remarry. There is a fourth possibility as well that you can study on your own. 1 Cor. 7:10-11 says “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband…” This opens the door to a possibility of if a woman is in some type of danger and she has no choice but to leave. For the first three reasons, the Bible says that a person can remarry. The last obviously is clear that the wife cannot remarry if she leaves for that reason.

One more note to point out…why would we apply this teaching to unbelievers also? Unbelievers and their actions aren’t held to the same standard as a believer, before they are a believer. In other words, who are we to say that before a person submitted their life to Christ, and they went through a divorce, but then they became a Christian that now they can’t remarry? 2 Cor 5:17 says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” Those who are in Christ are held at a different standard, the standard that Jesus and Paul give us in the Bible. We can’t expect unbelievers to be held to that same standard.

Q. What about practicing homosexuals and the church?
I’m not quite sure the specific question being asked here, but let’s be perfectly clear. Homosexuality is a sin.

Paul says plainly  “do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,” (1 Corinthians 6:9)

As well as here: “the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, 10 the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine” (1 Timothy 1:9-10) Other clear prohibitions of homosexuality can be found here: Leviticus 18:22, 20:13, Romans 1:26-28.

What else do we notice in these passages noted above? Homosexuality is a sin, just like all the other listed sins: murder, lying, perjury, sexual immorality, adultery, idolatry, etc. It is just as horrible in God’s eyes as any other kind of sin you can find in scripture. And like all other sins we can commit, we need forgiveness of it and transformation into a life without that sin.

As for the original question’s mention of a “practicing homosexual” in the church:  if you’re asking are they welcome in church, the answer is a resounding “YES”. The church is a place where sinners can meet together, hear the bible taught and preached, and where we can repent of our sin, ask for forgiveness, trust in Jesus as God, and be changed. It’s no different than the young man who has a struggle with pornography and comes to church. He is a practicing sinner, but that doesn’t mean we kick him out of church. That’s not the point.

What IS the point is that like all other sin, the pattern of a homosexual life (thoughts, desires, actions) needs to be broken. Through Christ’s power that sin can be forgiven and that person can be transformed and given a new heart with new desires.