Q. My husband of 13 years does not love me anymore to the point that he tried to kill me with one of his guns and bruised me up that day in front of our preschooler. On police advice, I filed a protective order against him and 2 weeks later I filed for divorce. I’m scared to stay married to him because I know he hates me. Do I have biblical grounds for divorce, or should I dismiss the filing on my next hearing?
First of all this is a delicate situation and one that requires sensitivity, compassion, and care. No one in their right mind would think that the situation at hand necessitates hanging around. Even if I didn’t know anything about God’s Word, and what it says about specific grounds for divorce, I would still tend to lean towards the side of caution here and tell you that this predicament is one that you or anyone else would want not to continue lingering in.
Biblical Grounds For Divorce
The great news is that the Bible is very clear and direct in stating what the grounds for divorce are. To help you easily remember them, they all start with the letter d. They are death (Romans 7:2-3); disloyalty (Matthew 19:3,9); and desertion (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). In all of these instances as seen in the above passages as well, the Bible supports and sanctions a remarriage.

But there seems to be a fourth reason that the Bible includes as grounds for a divorce. If we read again in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we see from verses 10 and 11 this presented: “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord:” (Meaning this was actually the instruction of Jesus while incarnate on earth)  “A wife is not to depart (the Greek word here is the word for divorce) from her husband”. That’s it…that was the teaching and the standard of Jesus. No divorce, sorry wives, no divorce.
What About Danger In The Marriage?
So the question enters, what if he is not unfaithful, and he hasn’t physically abandoned the marriage/family, but he is beating her up daily, or bringing drug dealers home, or pedophiles who are endangering the kids, or he is robbing banks etc…? The point is that there is a serious threat or danger within the marriage. “But even if she does depart (again, the same word: divorce).” What this is saying is that there will be instances for a woman divorcing a husband for a reasonable cause (danger). This is what Jesus is inferring. But there’s a qualifier: “Let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband”

She can divorce because of danger but has to remain unmarried. If he gets his act together, there may be hope for the marriage in the future.  So the wife can get out of the way of danger, but has to remain unmarried.  This qualifier keeps a wife from tossing her husband for a lesser reason (irritations).  Because if she did walk away for a lesser reason, she would not have true Biblical grounds for divorcing her husband.

So, the final analysis is that Jesus leaves room for a wife being able to terminate a marriage if she is any sort of perceived danger.

Q. What does God say about doctors and healing. I have many christian friends who say doctors are trying to imitate God and they are afraid of going to one saying they are a lack of faith in God. Are there any verses pertaining to this. I am deeply troubled because I am studying to become a doctor and I am a christian.
A casual research of the term “physician” will assist us with developing an understanding of doctors and medicine from God’s view point.
Old Testament View of Doctors
In Jeremiah 8:22, the prophet is noticeably upset about the spiritual state of Judah.  So he formats his communication to help us understand his concern.  He says…”Is there no balm (Hebrew:  tseriy / medicine) in Gilead, Is there no physician there?”  His point is, if there is medical, physical healing available in Judah, why isn’t there any spiritual healing and potential of recovery in that way?  Jeremiah viewed physicians and medicine as something positive.
Jesus’ View of Doctors
Jesus said in Matthew 9:12 “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick”.  The clear implication being, physicians benefit sick people. In Colossians 4:14, Luke is referred to by Paul as, “Luke the beloved physician”.  So, we see that, one of the human authors of a book of the New Testament was a medical doctor, and he was call beloved.

Mark 5:25-26 does tell the story about “a certain woman (who) had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians.  She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse.” The message here is that sometimes…no matter how competent and how numerous the doctors and medicines are, they still will not be able to accomplish a cure.

In this situation, it provided the opportunity for Jesus to step in and preform a miracle.  But the overall message from the bible certainly does not depreciate or prohibit the use of medical doctors or medicine.

Q. Taking specifically into consideration 1 Peter 3:21, how do we get away with saying that we are only saved by belief and repentance?
In order to understand the entire context of 1 Peter 3:21, one cannot just take into consideration that lone verse, rather the verses preceding and succeeding it must be considered as well.

Verses 18-22 state: For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit, by whom also He went and preached to the spirits in prison, who formerly were disobedient, when once the Divine longsuffering waited in the days of Noah, while ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight souls, were saved through water. There is also an antitype which now saves us–baptism (not the removal of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God), through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, angels and authorities and powers having been made subject to Him.

Peter delineates any confusion right on the top end when he places the focus on the work of Christ, who suffered once to bring us to God. We don’t bring ourselves to God, rather He does the bringing. The Bible does not contradict itself. If it says one thing (that salvation comes from the work of Christ only), then it can’t say another also (that man can work for his own salvation). Baptism is a work, therefore it cannot be included within the salvation process. Mark 1:15 and Acts 20:21 clearly state that we are saved by repenting and believing solely.

But what about this passage? Well, if the context is understood properly, water is actually referred to here as an instrument of judgment, not salvation. God’s patience wore thin after 120 years of allowing man to change His ways during the days that Noah spent building the ark. When the rebellion perpetuated, God judged the earth through water. The point that Peter makes is that God save Noah from the water, not through it. Then Peter goes on to speak of baptism, which is used in other contexts than just water in Scripture (i.e. 1 Cor 12:13: For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body…). Baptism means to be immersed. Just as we are immersed into the church by the Spirit as Paul tells us, Peter lets us know that through the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, we also are immersed into God’s family. Antitype is just a symbolic term used as an earthly expression for a heavenly reality. Peter is using symbolism. Basically, in no way is Peter saying baptism by water save us. He even clarifies by stating “not the removal of the filth of the flesh” (or through some act of cleansing by water), but by “the answer of a good conscience toward God.” Having a good conscience toward God cannot be accomplished by something that we do. It can only be accomplished through repentance and faith…from the working of Christ.

This passage can easily be deciphered when one uses a proper hermeneutic. Plainly stated, when we study the Bible, we must study it properly in order to be able to interpret it properly. If we look at the historical, grammatical, literary, and literal context, we can more easily identify with what the Biblical writers are saying.

Q. Is there an absolute proof of Gods existence or does it completely come down to faith and personal testimony? Romans 1:20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse. Invisible meaning actually can’t physically be seen, but at the end says are clearly seen by the world around us.
Let’s focus first on the verse quoted above: Romans 1:20.  In it Paul is talking about the material manifestations of God’s eternal attributes.  In other words, he says that something of who God is can be seen in the things that He has made; that the creation bears the image of its creator.  This refers not only to the planet we live on, but also to the inner-workings of we as human beings.
Only Two Ways To Look At Things
Essentially, there can be only two reactions to Paul’s point.  Either we infer a great creative mind from the incomprehensible complexity and beauty we behold in creation, or, we believe that everything (and I stress, everything) we know of life is the result of one huge cosmic accident. This latter option would declare that everything from DNA, to romantic love, to art, to iPods, to earthworms, to irony, to Bach’s cello pieces, to dirt, to college degrees, to self-esteem are all products of the same cataclysmic explosion that happened somewhere in the ancient past, long before the laws of physics (the ones we use to describe it) had come into existence.

This reductio ad absurdum, though it shows the irrational grounds of materialistic evolution, does not prove the existence of God outright.  What it does help us to do is make an inference to the best possible explanation, which is that all the complexity of life, emotion, physics, energy, and thought owe their existence to a Being more complex and wise than a cosmic cocktail of chemicals (which, by the way, would have had to come from somewhere).*
Absolute Proof
In the end, the answer to the question is that there is BOTH absolute proof and the assurance of faith and personal testimony.  Aside from any arguments related to the creation/evolution debate, we have absolute proof for God of another kind: the life of the historical Jesus. Even if God had left no visible traces of His divine nature in creation, as Paul wrote, we would still be left with the record of the God-Man himself.

The evidences from the life of Jesus form a greater proof for God’s existence than all the volumes of arguments written on God’s existence as proved from material creation.  And this is to be expected, because the focus of the Bible is not the scientific evidence we have for belief in God; it is rather the eternal Word of God, manifest in the God-Man Jesus Christ, whose life is the greatest proof for God available to us.

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* Proceeding with an argument for God’s existence from design would take a much longer than the scope of this post.  Serious inquirers would be well served to obtain a copy of documentaries such as “The Privileged Planet,” or books such as I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist by Norman Geisler.

Q. There are many different religions and faiths claiming that they are the only way to heaven. Obviously that means one is right and the rest are wrong. I’m not a very learned guy when it comes to worldviews other than Christianity, but if people believe in something then I would think there would be some concrete evidence for the foundation to their faith. Back to my question, If one is right and the rest wrong, wouldn’t there be some serious loopholes in the “wrong” ones?
Only One Religion Corresponds With Reality
All world-views have to answer the questions that all humans intrinsically ask, Where do we come from? What is our purpose? What is Morality? Why is there evil and suffering in the world? and What will happen when we die? Only the Christian worldview answers all of these questions to the clearest extent. It is the only religion which clearly corresponds to reality and whose text is so instructional and clear in explanation. Other world-views try but they all lack depth and correspondence with reality.

Buddhism doesn’t explain where evil and suffering come from it just explains what one must do to try to get away from it, and that which teaches us how to get away were taught by Buddha, who ultimately died and no one really knows if he ever overcame it. Hinduism adapts relativism, which breaks the very structure of thought to know Truth. Islam and many cults claim the Bible as their foundation of legitimacy (since many come hundreds and others thousands of years after the new testament), then they go and deny their foundation and posit contradictory information which still roots itself in the denied foundation. Once one denies their foundation for legitimacy all of their claims built on a broken foundation, lack foundation. Culture is also against many, for culture perpetuates thinking which is devoid of truth.

“He cuts down cedars, or he chooses a cypress tree or an oak and lets it grow strong among the trees of the forest. He plants a cedar and the rain nourishes it. Then it becomes fuel for a man. He takes a part of it and warms himself; he kindles a fire and bakes bread. Also he makes a god and worships it; he makes it an idol and falls down before it. Half of it he burns in the fire. Over the half he eats meat; he roasts it and is satisfied. Also he warms himself and says, “Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire!” And the rest of it he makes into a god, his idol, and falls down to it and worships it. He prays to it and says, “Deliver me, for you are my god!” They know not, nor do they discern, for he has shut their eyes, so that they cannot see, and their hearts, so that they cannot understand. No one considers, nor is there knowledge or discernment to say, “Half of it I burned in the fire; I also baked bread on its coals; I roasted meat and have eaten. And shall I make the rest of it an abomination? Shall I fall down before a block of wood?” Isaiah 44:15-19
People Ultimately Want To Deny Jesus As God
This is an example in the Bible how man will follow foolishness to all extents. Romans 1:18-32 describes how and why people follow other religions. in 2 Corinthians 3:13-18 Paul describes that peoples’ hearts are hardened and there is a veil over their eyes and that only through Christ can one come and have their veil lifted to truth and salvation. This is why you can prove to someone God is real logically, historically, rationally but they will never accept the Lordship of Christ, because their hearts still have a veil over it. People do not accept Jesus by facts alone but through the heart and the Spirit.

So why do people not see the true God of reality? because of the darkness of the human heart to not look and accept the fallacy of an idea for personal comfort;

“And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.”  John 3:19-20

Q. What does the bible say about there being a rift in some of our relationships after becoming a christian?
Let’s understand the nature of man first. When Adam and Eve rebelled against God the relationship between man and God was destroyed (Gen 3:3), along with the relationship between man and earth (Gen 2:17), man and animal and of course man and man (Gen 3:16, gen 4:8). The fall destroyed perfect relationships. This is our nature until we are born again and the old man has died and the new creation has come. We now are free from the shackles of sins lordship but we still exist in the fleshly bodies which feed our ability to sin.

When we become a Christian we now have the resources to reconcile the nature of relationships how God has created them to be. First we have the Spirt in us which is the power and the motivation to direct us and guide us to live in relationships as we should. Next we have the Word of God which directs us through the gamut of relationship issues such as dealing with conflicts (Matt 18), Marriage (Ephesians 5), Body of Christ (John 13:34-35 ), the world around us (Rom 12:18-21, Phil 2:3-4), us and the spirit (Gal 5:16-26), us and wisdom (Ephesians 5:15-21), children and parents (Ephesians 6:1-4), servants and masters(Ephesians 6:5-9), family (Col 3:18-21), us and Christ (John 15:4, 9-11).

So as we live in the word, we must conform unto it, that we may have a new mind and heart. In dwelling in his word we have relationship wisdom. When we do fall short we must repent and mend relationships as best as possible. Repentance is a necessity in the Christian walk, for we must be humble and allow truth to stand against us that we may bow before it against our pride and selfishness. We are called to live relationally. it is our nature as humans, for we were made in the image of a relational triune God who exist in relationship within himself.

So as we live here on earth until we are called home, we should be encouraged that we can now be the light of the true nature of relationships to the world around us, who continues to live in the broken nature relationships.

Q. Why are bigamy and polygamy frowned upon today when there were plenty of polygamists in the Bible?  Why the double standard?

The history of marriages recorded in the Bible reflect the complications and often confusion marriages sometimes represent even today.
God’s Standard
God was very careful to provide some basic guidelines and standards for marriage in Genesis 2: 24-25 and then Moses codified some additional standards in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 to clarify marriage and divorce standards for the nation.

Jesus validated and amplified Torah teachings in Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19 and Mark 10.

OK, bigamy is strongly condemned through the narrative recorded in Genesis 20. Polygamy is referenced in Gen. 2:24…”Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The concept of ‘two becoming one’ is the emphasis.  Jesus mentions this in Matt 19 and Mark 10 and Paul references it in Ephesians 5.

So the standard is clear…no bigamy, no polygamy.  Jesus’ answer to those questioning Him about marriage issues in Matt.19:8 was, “but from the beginning it was not so.” Jesus would point people back to the original standard established in Genesis 2.
Humans’ Sin
So then why did Abraham and the patriarchs and David and Solomon ignore the standard of “oneness” of monogamy. They had their not so legitimate reasons.

Abraham had trust issues.  He was promised a great nation by God (Gen 12:2), but he and his wife were unable to conceive (Gen 15:2). So Abram’s wife Sarai (later Abraham and Sarah) came up with the plan to have Abram take her maid Hagar as a wife to provide an heir.  After Ishmael was born, tension immediately developed between the two women, and Sarah ended up treating Hagar harshly and “and she (Hagar) fled from her presence” (Gen 16:6), to actually and eventually become a separate nation!

Even though Abraham was not directly called out for this disregard for the divine and later biblical standard, the complications of this arrangement, which clearly violated Genesis 2, is inescapable. You will see the same or even a greater level of complications through the life of Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, as his sons conflicted with each other measurably.

David was commanded in Deuteronomy 17:16-17 not to multiply horses, wives, or greatly multiply gold or silver.  He had a least a half dozen wives (isn’t that what kings did…maintain harems?). The conflicts that arose between the children are legend.  One son raping his half sister.  Other sons trying to take over the throne.  The intrigue continued all the way to the coronation of Solomon.

The point is…people violated the standard for marriage…and even though it appeared that heaven remained silent…the consequences demonstrated something else. Remember, the examples of God’s people in the bible (other than Jesus, God himself) are sinners. We see real examples of their sin. Yet another reason the Bible isn’t a man made book…if it were, those godly men would have simply taken out the parts mentioning their rejection of God’s teaching.

Q. How do you know if you’ve forgiven someone? Does feeling pain mean that you haven’t forgiven the person?
What Forgiveness Is
Forgiveness can be a difficult thing not only to do, but to understand.  By way of analogy, it can be seen as the relinquishing of a debt owed to you by someone else.  Often the debt is emotional, as in cases where you have been offended or maligned by someone, and you feel that they should make restitution for their offense.  If you’ve been ignored, you may feel as though the offender should give you recognition.  If you’ve been insulted, you might feel that the offender should give you accolades.  Whatever the case, there is something you feel should be done for you, or on your behalf.

This analogy can apply to our position before God.  All of us enter this world bearing the mark of sin, and because of it, we owe a debt to God which we are incapable of paying (Romans 5:12).  Jesus Christ assumed our collective debt of sin, and made restitution for it by His death on the cross (Isaiah 53:5).  The choice to forgive humanity was strictly by God’s volition.  We could not merit it; we deserve His wrath.  In the same way, when we forgive, it must be an intentional choice, regardless of how ill-deserving we think the offender may be, because that is what God modeled for us.
What It Is Not
It is a mistake to think that forgiveness and emotional healing always go hand in hand.  In fact, there will be cases when forgiveness is offered, but the pain remains.  I may pray for the strength to forgive someone who takes the life of my family member, but it will be a long time before the pain lessens.

That forgiveness is independent of emotion is what makes it so profoundly difficult (because we often think and act based on emotion).  Yet this also makes forgiveness so magnificent.  As we celebrate Easter, we reflect on the resurrection of Jesus, but also on his preceding death when, while hanging on the cross above His executioners, He asks the Father to “forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).  Jesus felt unimaginable physical and emotional pain, yet pleaded with the Father to grant forgiveness to those who murdered Him.  In the same way, our forgiveness must be intentional, independent of our pain, and modeled after God’s forgiveness of us: “as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13).

Q. He (Jesus) answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark 10:11-12

In light of this verse why is it that the church as a whole seems to be so ok with marrying people who have been divorced? How does Aletheia deal with this issue?
This question has brought about much controversy in the church over the years. Once again with a proper Biblical perspective, the answer to a seemingly complicated question becomes very simplistic.

The context of the passage in question, along with other New Testament passages, needs to be comprehensively looked at in order to form a more accurate stance on if divorce is acceptable and if it is, when it is acceptable.
How Is Marriage Defined?
The Bible doesn’t contradict itself so in other words, it won’t say divorce is okay in one verse and then it’s not in another. Marriage, as we see it defined in Genesis chapter 2 by Jesus in the same passage in question (verses 6, 7, and 8 ) is understood as:

1. Marriage is between a man and a woman (two humans of different gender). God didn’t create a bunch of humans in the beginning to all inter-marry with each other and trade up a spouse for another. No, it is meant solely and distinctly for two people.

2. Marriage intends for two people to come together and literally “be joined.” This word means to be glued together. Have you ever used gorilla super glue before? That stuff is not intended to lose it’s adhesiveness ever. The same goes for the marriage union. When a man leaves his mother and father to be joined to his wife, this is meant to be forever.

3. When two people are joined in marriage, they become one flesh. This word one is a compound unity term which signifies singularity within plurality. The same term is used to describe the Lord in Deuteronomy 6:4 and a cluster of grapes in Numbers 13:23.

4. Marriage is brought together by God with a command that it not be messed with. In the same passage verse 9, Jesus says what God has brought together let now man separate. God ordains marriage and therefore it shouldn’t be tampered with by man because God is supreme.
Misinterpreting God’s Word
The Pharisees whom Jesus was directing this answer to were trying to trip Jesus up. They were taking out of context a passage in the Mosaic law (Deut. 24:1-4). That passage recognized the reality of divorce and as we see in Mark 10:4, these Pharisees answer Jesus’ statement of “What did Moses command you?” with “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.” Moses (through God’s help) knew that divorce was inevitable so the reason for the “certificate” was to protect the woman’s rights within the marriage and to keep things documented. The certificate allowed the woman (or man) to be released from the marriage to be remarried unless the reasons were of an sexually immoral nature.

Obviously Mosaic law taught that immorality within a marriage (adultery) was wrong (Ex 20:14; Lev 20:10). This faction of Pharisees believed that Mosaic law allowed for divorce to take place under any circumstances. They were wrong. Jesus tells them that they are rebellious and proceeds to let them know that divorce is not cool.
What Scripture Says About Divorce
Then, God goes on to use the Biblical writers like Paul to specify the grounds in which divorce is acceptable. It’s not okay under any other circumstance except when a spouse dies (Romans 7:2-3); when there is disloyalty (Matthew 19:9); when there is desertion (1 Cor 7:15). Under these circumstances, a person is allowed to remarry. There is a fourth possibility as well that you can study on your own. 1 Cor. 7:10-11 says “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband…” This opens the door to a possibility of if a woman is in some type of danger and she has no choice but to leave. For the first three reasons, the Bible says that a person can remarry. The last obviously is clear that the wife cannot remarry if she leaves for that reason.

One more note to point out…why would we apply this teaching to unbelievers also? Unbelievers and their actions aren’t held to the same standard as a believer, before they are a believer. In other words, who are we to say that before a person submitted their life to Christ, and they went through a divorce, but then they became a Christian that now they can’t remarry? 2 Cor 5:17 says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” Those who are in Christ are held at a different standard, the standard that Jesus and Paul give us in the Bible. We can’t expect unbelievers to be held to that same standard.

Q. What about practicing homosexuals and the church?
I’m not quite sure the specific question being asked here, but let’s be perfectly clear. Homosexuality is a sin.

Paul says plainly  “do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,” (1 Corinthians 6:9)

As well as here: “the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, 10 the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine” (1 Timothy 1:9-10) Other clear prohibitions of homosexuality can be found here: Leviticus 18:22, 20:13, Romans 1:26-28.

What else do we notice in these passages noted above? Homosexuality is a sin, just like all the other listed sins: murder, lying, perjury, sexual immorality, adultery, idolatry, etc. It is just as horrible in God’s eyes as any other kind of sin you can find in scripture. And like all other sins we can commit, we need forgiveness of it and transformation into a life without that sin.

As for the original question’s mention of a “practicing homosexual” in the church:  if you’re asking are they welcome in church, the answer is a resounding “YES”. The church is a place where sinners can meet together, hear the bible taught and preached, and where we can repent of our sin, ask for forgiveness, trust in Jesus as God, and be changed. It’s no different than the young man who has a struggle with pornography and comes to church. He is a practicing sinner, but that doesn’t mean we kick him out of church. That’s not the point.

What IS the point is that like all other sin, the pattern of a homosexual life (thoughts, desires, actions) needs to be broken. Through Christ’s power that sin can be forgiven and that person can be transformed and given a new heart with new desires.